im gonna try again...

I've missed blogging...during the last few months I've realized that I somehow am able to express myself quite well through writing...I did this continually when I was living overseas and I not only enjoyed it, but I think it was also somewhat therapeutic. I've taken up writing again, more in the journaling form, but I think I'm going to try blogging again...

Last night I had dinner with a friend...friends are great! I think I'll keep her around for a while :-)
So we were talking about 2009 and some of the things we've each been working through and the things coming ahead...and 2010 will be filled with many unknowns for both of us...sometimes it's nice to have a friend going through some of the same things...

After our little talk I started thinking about some of the things we had talked about and realized the reason I'm struggling so much with all the unknowns of 2010 is that I don't trust God...you may think that sounds kinda strange... Well, it does and it's really hard to admit...but when it comes down to it, it's the truth. All my worrying about what could be is not going to add an ounce of joy or peace to my life, but trusting in Him and HIS plan for my life will. There are many things I need to let go and trust that He will work them out one way or another.
I stumbled across this song while I was listening to Pandora while cleaning...cleaning is very therapeutic for me...and so is listening to music, so combining the two was AMAZING :-)
You can listen to it on YouTube.

This is my prayer for 2010...that I place and leave my plans in His hands b/c this burden truly is too hard to carry on my own. I want to walk in the path that He has prepared for me...and STOP fighting Him along the way...b/c honestly, fighting God is exhausting! and He always wins anyways, so why not just go with Him and make more of the time and the talents He has given me? He has given me many passions and desires and I know they will not go to waste...I just need to stop stressing and continue living life to the fullest as I have been during the last few years...things really are so much better when I let Him lead...He has taken me to places I only dreamed of...some of them I didn't even have the capacity to dream of...so as I enter this new year of many unknowns, I know He will once again take me to places that are greater than anything I can imagine and allow me to experience things greater than I can dream of.

Brandon Heath: What If We - Trust You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pORsP8ohbhA

I can’t walk without watching where I’m going
I can’t speak without knowing what to say
I can’t love without any hesitation, ‘cause I know that you don’t work that way
I can’t reach without something to offer
I can’t come now, I am so ashamed
I can’t hold out for you any longer, ‘cause I know that you don’t work that way

I’m not gonna fight you anymore
I’m not gonna try to lock the door
You took your life and gave me yours
There’s no reason why, I shouldn’t trust you with mine

It’s never easy changing direction
It’s so unnatural to loosen up my grip
Are you growing weary, of all my good intentions, ‘cause I know that you don’t work that way

I’m not gonna fight you anymore
I’m not gonna try to lock the door
You took your life and gave me yours
There’s no reason why, I shouldn’t trust you with mine

Some days this weight upon my shoulders is my shame I know I should know better
‘Cause you say that I must now surrender, there’s no other way

I’m not gonna fight you anymore
I’m not gonna try to lock the door
I needed life, you gave me yours
You took your life and gave me yours
There’s no good reason why, I shouldn’t trust you with mine

I’m not gonna fight you anymore
I’m not gonna try to lock the door
You took your life and gave me yours
There’s no reason why, no good reason why
I shouldn’t trust you with mine

au revoir...

well, it's been a long time and ive been horrible at this since my return to cali...so ive decided to stop blogging on here...well im not actually stopping, im just doing it more in facebook now. i'm just to busy to be blogging in multiple places, so maybe i'll see you on facebook. it's been fun!

i'm back....

or i will try to be back...for the sake of my one reader, miss hannah :)
i've actually really missed writing like i used to when i was living in romania...so i'm going to try again.
i'm leaving the country again in 5 days!! i am so excited!
i'll be in the mideast for 3 weeks, back home for 5 hours and off to mexico for 4 weeks. i really want to write while i am out...but we'll see how that goes b/c our schedule looks pretty intense!

the last few months have been good. i've been learning so much! one of these days maybe i'll have time to sit and write about some of those things...july...i have the month of july off...WOOHOO!!! i think that'll be a good time to process some of this stuff.

Happy New Year!

Well, it really haS been a long time...i needed a break from blogging...and really, i just didnt have time...between doing a dual master's program fulltime and working...well, there isnt much free time...and this semester will be even busier as ISP training has started and my sister is getting married.
i always thought i was busy when i lived in romania, but busyness has been taken to another level lately.
so much has happened! the Lord has been good to me and my family and allowed us many opportunities for growth.
i read something interesting on a blog the other day...she said "the more i think, the less i tend to blog." i think this is true for me as well...believe me, i have been doing lots of thinking :)
i may be sharing some of that soon :)

anywho, have a great day!