a little clarity on the journey...

i realized why i haven't been able to keep up with blogging...well, i've been pretty busy, but i was busy when i was living in romania and i made time to blog...the reality is that life is pretty ordinary...i dont really feel like i have anything to write about most of the time...but since i'm about to move to a new place, i think i might take it up again :-)

in case you haven't heard, i'm moving to tennessee. i've recenty been hired by union university. the whole application process was such a blessing...i know that sounds odd, but i had so much peace in the process and was content with whatever the outcome would have been...but i'm very thankful it turned out the way it did and that i've been given this opportunity.


the big move wont take place until the last wk of June, but the time is going so quickly!

let's see, lately i've been working on:

• my last two classes(1 big project, 1 final, and my capstone-35pg paper and presentation)

• my current job- 1 big event, 2 big fundraisers, preparing my team for ethnography in the ME starting the last wk of may

i cant wait for the adventures we are going to have together! love them!

• figuring out logistics to get me to tennessee...

i'm sad to be leaving my family and the community i've been part of during the last 2 years, BUT i'm also excited for what's ahead. i will be working with some cool people and i get to stay in the university world, which i'm very excited about. starting over is kind of scary, but on most days i'm actually more excited than i am scared...i've been a little all over the place with my emotions about leaving again...i'm not AT ALL good at saying good bye.

Tennessee facts: The name "Tennessee" originated from the old Yuchi Indian word, "Tana-see," meaning "The Meeting Place."
Coca-Cola was first bottle in 1899 at a plant on Patten Parkway in downtown Chattanooga after two local attorneys purchased the bottling rights to the drink for $l.00.

im gonna try again...

I've missed blogging...during the last few months I've realized that I somehow am able to express myself quite well through writing...I did this continually when I was living overseas and I not only enjoyed it, but I think it was also somewhat therapeutic. I've taken up writing again, more in the journaling form, but I think I'm going to try blogging again...

Last night I had dinner with a friend...friends are great! I think I'll keep her around for a while :-)
So we were talking about 2009 and some of the things we've each been working through and the things coming ahead...and 2010 will be filled with many unknowns for both of us...sometimes it's nice to have a friend going through some of the same things...

After our little talk I started thinking about some of the things we had talked about and realized the reason I'm struggling so much with all the unknowns of 2010 is that I don't trust God...you may think that sounds kinda strange... Well, it does and it's really hard to admit...but when it comes down to it, it's the truth. All my worrying about what could be is not going to add an ounce of joy or peace to my life, but trusting in Him and HIS plan for my life will. There are many things I need to let go and trust that He will work them out one way or another.
I stumbled across this song while I was listening to Pandora while cleaning...cleaning is very therapeutic for me...and so is listening to music, so combining the two was AMAZING :-)
You can listen to it on YouTube.

This is my prayer for 2010...that I place and leave my plans in His hands b/c this burden truly is too hard to carry on my own. I want to walk in the path that He has prepared for me...and STOP fighting Him along the way...b/c honestly, fighting God is exhausting! and He always wins anyways, so why not just go with Him and make more of the time and the talents He has given me? He has given me many passions and desires and I know they will not go to waste...I just need to stop stressing and continue living life to the fullest as I have been during the last few years...things really are so much better when I let Him lead...He has taken me to places I only dreamed of...some of them I didn't even have the capacity to dream of...so as I enter this new year of many unknowns, I know He will once again take me to places that are greater than anything I can imagine and allow me to experience things greater than I can dream of.

Brandon Heath: What If We - Trust You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pORsP8ohbhA

I can’t walk without watching where I’m going
I can’t speak without knowing what to say
I can’t love without any hesitation, ‘cause I know that you don’t work that way
I can’t reach without something to offer
I can’t come now, I am so ashamed
I can’t hold out for you any longer, ‘cause I know that you don’t work that way

I’m not gonna fight you anymore
I’m not gonna try to lock the door
You took your life and gave me yours
There’s no reason why, I shouldn’t trust you with mine

It’s never easy changing direction
It’s so unnatural to loosen up my grip
Are you growing weary, of all my good intentions, ‘cause I know that you don’t work that way

I’m not gonna fight you anymore
I’m not gonna try to lock the door
You took your life and gave me yours
There’s no reason why, I shouldn’t trust you with mine

Some days this weight upon my shoulders is my shame I know I should know better
‘Cause you say that I must now surrender, there’s no other way

I’m not gonna fight you anymore
I’m not gonna try to lock the door
I needed life, you gave me yours
You took your life and gave me yours
There’s no good reason why, I shouldn’t trust you with mine

I’m not gonna fight you anymore
I’m not gonna try to lock the door
You took your life and gave me yours
There’s no reason why, no good reason why
I shouldn’t trust you with mine

au revoir...

well, it's been a long time and ive been horrible at this since my return to cali...so ive decided to stop blogging on here...well im not actually stopping, im just doing it more in facebook now. i'm just to busy to be blogging in multiple places, so maybe i'll see you on facebook. it's been fun!

i'm back....

or i will try to be back...for the sake of my one reader, miss hannah :)
i've actually really missed writing like i used to when i was living in romania...so i'm going to try again.
i'm leaving the country again in 5 days!! i am so excited!
i'll be in the mideast for 3 weeks, back home for 5 hours and off to mexico for 4 weeks. i really want to write while i am out...but we'll see how that goes b/c our schedule looks pretty intense!

the last few months have been good. i've been learning so much! one of these days maybe i'll have time to sit and write about some of those things...july...i have the month of july off...WOOHOO!!! i think that'll be a good time to process some of this stuff.

Happy New Year!

Well, it really haS been a long time...i needed a break from blogging...and really, i just didnt have time...between doing a dual master's program fulltime and working...well, there isnt much free time...and this semester will be even busier as ISP training has started and my sister is getting married.
i always thought i was busy when i lived in romania, but busyness has been taken to another level lately.
so much has happened! the Lord has been good to me and my family and allowed us many opportunities for growth.
i read something interesting on a blog the other day...she said "the more i think, the less i tend to blog." i think this is true for me as well...believe me, i have been doing lots of thinking :)
i may be sharing some of that soon :)

anywho, have a great day!

well...

life continues to be busy. im not fond of my 14 day weeks b/c they are really taking their toll on me physically and sometimes emotionally, but such is life...i am enjoying everything im doing and for now i guess it will have to do. this wkend i had my first class up in mill valley and it was awesome! intense, but awesome. dr. jayne is everything i heard she is and more. i feel so lucky to be able to be in a program like this and yet i know it has nothing to do with luck.

i have been struggling with culture shock lately.
i feel strange on the inside at times and most of the time i dont know why. i could blame it on culture shock i guess b/c that is definitely playing a part, but i dont know if it's that some times. ashley reminded me i need to take my own advice and take it one day at a time, but sometimes even that is a lot.

one day at a time. one day at a time. He has been so good to me though! when i think i can no longer move b/c of exhaustion, He becomes my strength. He reminds me why i am here and He reminds me of all that i mean to Him and in the end, i dont need anything more.

i have theology homework, but i know it will still be here in the morning. so im off to bed. i know, i know, it's barely 9...that's what happens when you get old :)

la revedere!

it's been a long week!

it has! new students moved in this week and gg classes started this week as well. i feel like the only time i was at home was to sleep...and sometimes not even that b/c we were gone for 2 nights for the new student retreat...which was pretty cool! i really enjoyed getting to know some of the new students, but i have to admit that by the time we got back yesterday afternoon i was all talked out!

today i went through some of the boxes i have had stored in my parents' garage for the last three years. the plan was to go thru all of them, but after about 3 hours i gave up...i also had to go thru the ones i brought from romania, so that pretty much doubled the number. i unpacked a few books and decorative things i want to use in the office. it was good to be able to do that. lots of memories are stored in those boxes...some i really just didnt have the energy to face however...so they remain stored for another day.

i started reading for my theology class today and WOW! i didnt realize how much reading i have to get done before tuesday's class...let's just say i will be spending a lot of time alone reading tomorrow and monday...thankfully i have monday off...and i would really love to do something fun...but i may have to read the whole day :(
i am enjoying it though!


well. im off to bed.
noapte buna!

neat people!

i cant imagine working with a neater group of people! it's true that i've only been working with them for about 2 weeks and some just for 1 week, but i like what i see so far. people with a passion for the Lord and His world who are great in a team and super creative! and they have huge hearts and are very patient with me! what more can a girl ask for? i feel so blessed to be surrounded by such people! i am really looking forward to what He has for us this year as individuals, but also as a team! all 10 of us!

tomorrow morning im headed off to san francisco, well, mill valley to be more exact, for orientation at Golden Gate. i am looking forward to getting away for a little bit, but am not looking forward to the 7-8 hour drive that i'll be doing by myself...this wasnt the initial plan, but it's just how it ended up...i dont really have a choice this time. in the coming months i will have to go up 4 more times for the intensive courses and am hoping to fly up or convince a certain gal who is trying to decide whether or not to do the program to go with me :)

well, i'm off to another wonderful day in socal.

la revedere
:)

older and wiser...

i love old peopLe!

yesterday morning i drove beck and joni to church early cuz they had orchestra. after i dropped them off i went to the bookstore and bought a great latte and sat outside and attempted to do some reading...if you dont know ibc, the bookstore is near the side back entrance... i didnt get much reading done b/c i got distracted by all the people that walked by...more specifically the senior adults. they were so precious! the looks on their faces when they saw one another are almost undescribable. they experienced such joy when they saw their friends! i know life is hard for many of them...some could hardly walk, but that didnt matter. when they saw their friends they completely changed...their faces lit up and they wanted to know about each other's week. oh, and i loved hearing "mornin darlin". a few stopped and talked to me even though i was a little ways away and that was sweet. many were curious as to why i was sitting there by myself,...wondering if i was waiting for "someone special"...but i didnt mind b/c they were so sweet. i also noticed how the much younger people(teens) were acting as they were walking by and they were quite different. they seemed so much more caught up in themselves . they were young and healthy, but lacked something...they lacked the joy that the older people had.
i cant wait until i retire...that's actually been one of my greatest goals :) well, not really, cuz i have a LONG time until i can retire and at the rate im going, i may never get to retire....but really, i do look forward to that time in my life....i love watching the old people in my church and i love talking to them. they are so wise and so sweet and so willing and waiting to serve! they are so active and it's so neat to see the passion they have for the Lord.

during collegiate week we were able to hear about work going on with college students around the country and even some churches that consist only of college students. after one of the sessions a few of us girls were discussing it and they asked me what i thought and i really didnt have an answer for them at the time, but i think i do now. i really cant imagine having a church without older people. there arent enough new styles of worship or whatever young people are looking for these days that can replace the experience and wisdom senior adults bring and can share if someone is willing to listen.

now, of course i believe there is a time for every age group to be with people their own age, but we also need to be with those who are older...those who can share their wisdom and encourage us and walk with us.

i had a very long day today! a good day, but a long day! our whole team was together for the first time today and we had some good times as we kicked off the new year...the day ended with us all hanging out with ALL the student leaders and a fabulous game of bunco(i think that's how you spell it). i am really excited to see what the Lord is going to do this year!

well, im off to bed.

la revedere!

here we go!

when i first moved to romania i used to blog all the time , but as life got busier i no longer had the time...and even though i really wanted to keep it up so that my family and friends could read about what was going on with me, the posts became less and less frequent. after returning to the States and having a much needed break, i have decided to start blogging again. i can't promise i will do it regularly, but i will try.

as i was trying to come up with a new name for this new blog i had many things going through my head, but this one stuck with me. one of the most important things i have realized during the last few years is that there is only one thing certain in life and that is that God is in control no matter what and i can accept that or fight it, but He still is in control. my plans come and go and change as quickly as they are made, but He has a greater plan and if i accept it amazing things will happen! accepting His plan doesn't mean life will be easy, but it does mean that He will walk with me no matter what and having Him walk with me and even carry me if necessary will make the journey a sweet one.

since returning i have had many new experiences. i moved back into my parents' house, i bought my first new car, i started paying bills american style again, relearned my way around the city and the surrounding cities(so many new things!), and so much more :)
i been accepted to grad school and will be starting a dual master's program through union university and golden gate baptist theological seminary...intercultural studies and educational leadership. i also have a job as a grad assistant in the global mobilization office at california baptist university. i have started working and have had a blast getting to know the people i will be working with...what a blessing they are! i am so excited about all the things i will be able to learn from these talented, passionate people. i am still amazed that i get to talk to university students and encourage them to go experience and serve in different cultures and get paid for it! i know it's going to be hard work, but i love it!

i have learned many things during the last few years and during the last few weeks i have been trying to process some of those things and it has been a somewhat painful process mainly b/c i am not sure where to go from here.

as part of this process(even though i didnt realize it was part of the process at the time) i had the opportunity to attend a conference for collegiate workers in glorieta and that really helped me move towards the place i need to be...a place where i can take the good memories and look on them with joy and thanksgiving, and let go of the not so good memories and think on them as opportunities for growth.

truth be told, glorieta was a very painful week for me. for the first time since returning i was away from the busyness and the noise and had to face everything straight on and it hit me like a ton of bricks. i did not leave one session w/o crying and sometimes just weeping uncontrollably. the speakers were amazing, speaking the truth in a way i have not heard in a long, long time... truths that i have known, but needed to be reminded of! the Lord really broke me and started a work that He has been trying to start for a while, but i have been too stubborn and stuck in my own ways to allow Him to work.

during the week we looked at the different ways we respond to the world we live in. i sat through many of the sessions with much regret about what i could have done while i was in romania...and it is true that i could have done more than i did...but then i was given a gentle reminder that i did exactly what He had for me and i need to be thankful for the experiences i was able to have b/c He allowed me to join Him in the work He was doing there. He did not need me then and does not need me now, but what an honor it is to be called to join Him in the work He is doing there and in the work He is doing here.

there are many more things i want to share about glorietta and will share during the next few posts, but this is it for now.

la revedere!
aura